I am ashamed to admit that Diabetes has taken a back seat to everything else lately. The new job, the house, the epilepsy medication. I have allowed Justin to run higher than usual. I have avoided making basal changes because I am to tired to get up and check more. I have allowed a site to stay in past 3 days(gasp!!). So you can imagine my stress knowing that our three month report card was scheduled for this week.
The prior three months were filled with constant lows. Constant "multi check nights" and double the stock in Juicy Juice. Three months ago... his A1C came back at a 6.4.
This time around we ran in the mid to upper 100's. Sometimes 200 with the occasional slight chance of a low. I fully expected his A1C to be back in the 7's. I fully expected a hang my head in shame for not doing better. Doing what I could; because to be honest... I turned my head and did nothing. A lot!
So how in the world did we get a 6.8???
I'll tell you that it is way less stressful to deal with him being a little higher than the constant lows we were having before. Those are just draining. I think I will try and keep that 6.8 around for a while and continue to focus on those stinky seizure meds.
I took a half a day off of work today because the kids are out of school. I am so excited because they wanted to go out and play... meaning I have quiet time to blog. What better day than Friday??? I get to sneak in a little 5QF.
1. What's the last thing you spent too much money on?
Easy!
BUT! In my defense... I love it AND I did buy it at the outlet; so it really could have been worse.
2. What celeb chef would you want to make you dinner? Paula Dean baby! We all know that if its good... its probably not good for you. Paula's shit it fattening... so that shit MUST be good.
3. Where do you hide things when visitors pop over or do you let them see the real deal? I have two spots... My room or the garage. I can do the 10 minute tidy like nobodies biz nez. Seriously, I think they should have named it the Lora.
4. Who is your oldest living family member? My grandma... she's 85.
5. What is your favorite DQ treat and/or Sonic drink combo (ie: cherry vanilla dr. pepper)? We don't really go to DQ because its just not convenient. We live right by Sonic though... and if you don't know the answer to this one... you don't know me AT ALL!
Go ahead!!! GUESS!!! What is Lora's favorite Sonic drink combo?
The constant guilt of making the wrong decision is eating at me. I don't know what to do and I want someone to make the decision for me... just to lift SOME of the guilt. SOME of the burden.
As you know(or maybe you don't), Justin was dx'd with a form of Epilepsy back in April(<-- you can read about it there). Seven months later, we are still trying to sort out the medication(<-- you can read a little about that here).
In short...the first medication caused stomach pain and vomiting. The second one they wanted him to take I refused. Med number three was working well until we realized that Justin was still having seizures, just not as often. The increase in the meds that were, up to that point, working... proved to have negative effects when increased. Justin started complaining of abdominal pain and his mood... woah! Short tempered and cranky to put it lightly.
Last week we decreased the meds and the above mentioned improved. However, we still have that "little issue" of him still having seizures.
Anthony followed up with Justin's neurologist today and they gave him the new medication that they want Justin to start IN ADDITION TO the decreased dose of the current meds. When I got home this afternoon, I realized that it is the same medication that I refused to give him when the first meds didn't work.
This medication scares me. I don't know what to do. I don't know what is best for my son, who already said something about the 7 pills a day(5 in the morning and two at night) that he was taking when we increased the dose.
He's 10... not 80. 10 year olds should not have to take that much medication in a day and my heart broke when he cried about it.
I can honestly say that as much as I hate what diabetes puts him through... I would take Diabetes over the Epilepsy and all of its horrid medication ANYDAY.
I never thought I would be in a position where I didn't know how to care for him. Where I didn't know what was best.
I just don't know what to do and I am terrified that I will make the wrong choice. I guess because I am not the one that will suffer because of it.
Hug your little one tight. They are all stronger than they should have to be.
While I wait for my khaki pants to finish washing(so that I can wear the cute new shirt I picked up today) I figured I would dust off the keyboard and throw in a lil 5QF... just in case anyone missed me.
Here we go...
1. Do you prefer cotton, silk, or flannel sheets?
Lets talk this out...
I live in Florida. Florida and flannel might start with the same letter, but they do not belong together. Talk about sweatin in places you don't wanna sweat... Just sayin!
Silk. Um, back to the sweating thing... not only do you sweat, but with silk, you get the pleasure of sticking to it when you do... Just sayin!
So I guess that leaves me with cotton. Good old breathable, non stick(unless your sun burnt and have aloe on) cotton... gotta love it! 2. What time zone are you in?
Hold on while I google that... Eastern... I am in the eastern time zone ;)
3. What is your favorite part of the holiday season?
The day after thanksgiving... I love it!!
Wait! Was I suppose to be a little more sentimental with that question?
4. What is your favorite "wintry" drink? (It doesn't have to be an "alcoholic" drink!)
Doesn't "have" to be alcoholic? Or it shouldn't be alcoholic? Cuz there is a diff!
Anywho... my favorite winery drink is the peppermint mocha at Starbucks.
HA! Betcha though I was gonna say something else.
5. In your opinion, what is the worst job in the world?
Laundry! That's all I've got.
I miss blogging regularly... I hope that things settle down enough soon and I can get back to it... after all, my sanity is found here.
1. If you had a weekly newspaper column, what would you name it?
Hmmm, there's several possibilities for this one.
-Shitz Gettin Deep -The Shoe Ho -Lovely Lora Talks Back -Mama Drama
I have always wanted to do an advice column, like Dear Abby or something... except I could see me being a bit more sarcastic with my advice :]. I can totally understand why no one would give me one.
2. Who is your mentor/inspiration? ???? (*cue Jeopardy music) ???? These serious questions are hard! 3. What is your wake up beverage of choice? Some days I go for coffee and some days I prefer the diet coke. When I am being good... I am cut off from both.
4. Would you wear your mom's clothes? hehehe! NO! First of all, my mom is about 5'2"(with shoes) and I am pushing 5'7". I think I would look a little funny. We'll just leave it at that ;)
5. When you were a kid, did you put posters on your wall? If so, what were they of? I had my walls PLASTERED! The posters overlapped so you couldn't see any part of the wall. I remember having wall to wall New Kids on the Block posters... especially Donnie(of course I liked the "bad boy"... if you can consider any of the NKOTB "bad boys"). Here are a few of the ones I actually remember having...
However, now that Donnie has receding hair... I prefer his brother. Get you some Marky Mark!!
Alexis says... OMG. If possible I love u even more! Of course its possible! I AM pretty damn lovable ;0) When when when are you coming to Vegas?! Bring those shoes and those moves and we are soooo going out!! I would love love LOVE to come to Vegas!!! We need a Dmama meet up. What happens in Vegas, right?
Reyna says... I could so picture you and I out dancing together. Meet us in Vegas girl... Lex will show us where all the good "Ho shoe" stores are and we can make part two of that shopping video :)
ah, yeah...you are part of the "bad girls of the DOC" club. I think it is you, me and Lex...DUH. Hmmm! I have always considered myself a good girl. Ya know, former PTA mom and all. (*snickering)
Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.~Pope John XXIII
This week has been filled with many emotions. Excitment for the future, fear of the unknown and worry for my kids.
Today I spent my last day as a part time working mom and on Monday I will begin my new journey, full time. At the end of the day, I was called into the sales room where a huge Edible Arrangment and a card, signed by everyone, awaited me. So sweet!
It's funny how families form all around you.
This was copied from the EA website, but I think this was the one.
Then I was given another gift. With it was a card that read(in part)...
"Don't question or doubt what lies ahead... it will all work out for your good!!! You have more in you than you realize! On a day where your feeling overwhelmed... theres chocolate, coffee and $ for a new pair of shoes... that should cure the blues!!!"
There were tears shed today as I was wished farewell. Many hugs, good lucks, love you's and miss you's were spoken. I felt loved.
It was a bitter sweet day for sure. I will miss my IPD family, but I will embrace this new adventure... in a kick ass pair of shoes!!!
"This is no day for sensible shoes"
As soon as I pull my shit together, I will try to finish up this weeks 5QF.
On the 12th day of each month bloggers from all over the world take 12 photos of their day. Though I learned about 12 of 12 courtesy of Mike; the 12 of 12 project was Chad's idea, you can go to his website to see the links of all the people who participated this month.
The most important decision I made this morning... which ones?!?
Of course, I got my Brass Monkey on this morning.
This is why you shouldn't run outside. Because mean people, like me, take your pic and post it on their blog.
Look, you can see the building that I will work in for the rest of this week.
The stairs!!! And no, I did not take the elevator to 10 and just take the pic... I REALLY climb all those.
In my shoes!
Anthony and I decided to check out a store called GFS for the first time.
They have lots of stuff... including these!
You even get to carry your stuff out in a box!
~right on!
Anthony made Buffalo Chicken Wraps for dinner... YUM!
Don't you keep your pump cartridge in a shot glass?
With all the changes in the air... last week snuck by me. It didn't help that I spent Saturday and Sunday camped out on the couch in a NyQuil induced coma- courtesy of the head cold my husband brought home. THANKS PUMPKIN!!! Monday wasn't much better, but at least I didn't want to die.
Needless to say... I tried(really, I did) several times to function enough to finish my 5QF post. I didn't make it. HOWEVER, lucky you, that just means that this weeks 5QF becomes a double feature.
Say it with me now... "RIGHT ON!!!!"
Okay, never mind... lets get started.
1. Shoes in the house - yay or nay?
It's a free for all in my house people. I do not like walking around the house without shoes(flip flops) on. Nor do I have time to change them every time I walk outside or in the garage. So, I guess that would be "yay".
2. What do you call them- flip flops, slippers, thongs, etc? Dude... they.are.flip.flops! Thongs are underwear that creep up your rear and slippers...
... for calling them slippers.
3. What song are you almost embarrassed to admit you know all the lyrics to? I can not believe I'm doing this...
4. What is the best quality to have in a friend?
I have to admit... choosing one quality in a friend is tough. I require my friends to posses several qualities or they are just considered acquaintances... not friends.
5. Do you know what you want for Christmas? I want a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm gettin it!
And now for THIS weeks 5QF... 1. What ringtone do you have on your cell phone? I just have the regular ol' Verizon ring tone for most calls, but the one for my house is The Adams Family. lol
2. What is your favorite memory from this summer?
My favorite memory HAS to be shopping with Leighanna. This is the first year she has not had to wear uniforms and my girl and I hit the mallS on several occasions... just the two of us. SO FUN!!!
3. Paper books or ebooks? Paper. If I want to read something electronic... I will read blogs. I need to get caught up anyways ;0)
4. If you could have one home upgrade what would it be and why? I would add one more room. Bonus room, bedroom or whatever room. When we bought this house, it was just Anthony and I. Two kids later... they have taken over and I need more room. Like for scrap booking.
5. When was your first serious boyfriend/girlfriend?Weren't we ALL in love in high school?
His name was Jimmy. We were friends for some time... best friends! We always hung out and "it just wasn't like that". One night, we were talking and he leaned over and kissed me. I was like "Jimm..." and that was that. We started dating when I was in 10th grade and he had already graduated... shhh, my mama didn't know. We were together for more than a year and a half. I was in love! We ended up breaking up because he was tired of my mom giving us a hard time. I hated her for that, of course.
Now for the extras... Reyna said... "Since I don't own a pair of Ho shoes (yes, surprising to the DOC, I know...seeing as how I am one of the "BAD GIRLS"), do you wear them while doing said Laundry and toilet scrubbing?"
Um, no! Those are both total flip flop occasions.
Now about this "Bad girls" situation?!?!?! I didn't know there was a "bad girls" club. Did you mention this because I am also part of this club... or am I still considered a good girl? Please feel free to post your opinion below.
Reyna also says... "NO, Blue Man Group does NOT count. We want a new answer. Or how about naming your favorite music group?"
Really, I listen to just about everything except "death metal". Gives me a head ache.
My ipod has everything from Steve B to Eminem(along with the above mentioned Beastie Boys) and my music choice for the day usually reflects my mood. Some days its a country cry fest and some days its booty music... just depends.
Sky0138(<--- not her real name) asks...Are you a Halloween lovin girl? And if so, what would be your all-time favorite costume to wear? lol...i'm sensing something with stripper shoes will be involved?
I do like Halloween... for "some" reason, I always end up being a witch(???). Not sure what that's about.
To change it up a bit, maybe this year I will go with something like this...
What do you think?
Of course I'll need some of these to go with it...
Kelly asks... "do you go commando while wearing the "ho shoes"?"
Shits getting deep!!!
No really. I've tried that... no.can.do.
I heart my --->
Nicole says... Blue Man group "can be considered a musical group"
Thanks Nic... I knew there was a reason I loved you!!
Hallie asks... "So what exactly is the Mayo supposed to DO to your hair??"
It makes your hair shiny and soft... I need me a mayo treatment right about now.
Amy says... "Soooooo . . . . has your mind blinked on, yet? Musical groups; uhm Blue Man Group? C'mon. Any lady who has pink glittered stripper shoes MUST have a favorite better than that ;)"
You and Reyna need to take this up with Nicole... she said they DO count.
Okay, okay...
I LOVELOVELOVE Pink!
I also love Rascal Flats, Eminem and Willie Nelson. Apparently my ADHD kicks in when it comes to choosing music.
I think that's it for this week. What else would you like to know? I dare ya to ask.
As I drove Justin to school this morning it hit me... I can not be that mom anymore. The mom I was watching, happily walking her child to class. The mom chit-chatting with the other moms as their kids run ahead swinging their lunchbox back and forth. The mom I have been for so long and the mom I wish I was still able to be... just a little longer.
Last night I accepted a full time position. This path has been a long time coming, the financial hit we took during the down turn in the economy a few years ago and the high cost medical expenses we face each month has lead me to where I am today. I know I am not alone in this struggle. Many D-Mamas I hold closest to my heart, face the same challenges I do. Choosing between filling a prescription and paying a bill is a hard hard pill to swallow for anyone.
*Just to clarify: I do already work... two jobs, both part time and both super flexible. Kids get sick, bg's are high... I stay home/leave.
Okay, back to post...
The quiet ride to work today felt longer than usual. I hate riding in the car alone; it gives me to much time to think. The car can be a lonely place(does that even make sense?). I cried the whole way. I cried out of fear of the unknown, out of guilt for leaving my kids and out of anger for not having the option of another choice.
Walking into work today didn't prove to be much easier. I had the daunting task of telling my favorite cousin that I was leaving. I don't know if it was reality sinking further and further into the orbs of my mind or if I really just didn't want to give her my notice, but the crying continued. I'm such a baby!
This afternoon we had to stop and talk with my Mother-in-law. We are going to need help. Emergency at school help, help during some morning getting Justin on the bus, some afternoons getting him off or help picking him up on time from wherever we decide to take him. With D in the mix, I just don't feel comfortable with him coming home on his own.
Please don't mistake the above as being ungrateful for the opportunity that I have. I have been offered a great job with great pay and even the possibility of working from home after ten months. All of the searching for a full time job has led me to one that I think will be great in the long term. I truly believe that GOD has his hand in the path that I have been walking down and has presented me with this opportunity at the right time and at the right place. I know in my heart that it will be okay.
Only, okay doesn't make it easier. I have been home for a long time. I was blessed to have had that opportunity. Even when I started working two years ago... I was home when my kids got out of school.
This is going to be a big adjustment for all of us. Decisions on what to do about Justin need to be made - my kids have never been in a daycare. The nurse and teachers need to be talked to, communication will be transferred to Anthony for the time being. I am not sure how to hand over control. Maybe the adjustment I will be making will be the hardest of all.
WOAH! I haven't posted since last weeks 5QF. What's that about?? I even have a half way decent "From the Mouth of Yours Truly" sittin in the drafts.
Someones a s.l.a.c.k.e.r!!
Actually, I have a toothache that is kicking my a$$(<---for Meri). I think my wisdom tooth(that good ol' Dr. S said I had room for) is trying to squeeze it's way into its rightful place. DUDE! It huuurts to talk. SERIOUSLY! My family doesn't know what to do without my usual smarty pant ways around here.
Do you think this is payback for all the crap that comes out of my mouth?!?
Anywho... I guess I should get started before 5QF ends up being posted on Monday.
I'm not really sure how I am going to dirty up this 5QF with stripper shoes, Ho-creases or even poop, the questions are pretty clean, but I will give it a go.
1. Did you make any fun purchases this week? I got some new shoes! Black ones!! Not super stripper high, but cute.
2. If you could go to any musical concert, what would it be? My mind just blanked. Does Blue Man Group count as musical?
3. What is your least fav/ most fav house chore? The dreaded L.A.U.N.D.R.Y!!!!! I can't stand it... I would rather scrub the toilet. 4. Would you prefer new appliances or clothes? I'll take a new pair of Miss Me jeans and some kick ass a$$ stripper shoes please.
5. Miracle Whip or Mayo? Neither, unless I am slathering it in my hair, and then I'll take the mayo. Actually, I'm due for a good ol' stanky mayo hair treatment.
You should see me with my head all goopy with mayo and wrapped in Saran Wrap... it's HOT!
Now lets see what we have for the extras... Speaking of slackers... are you guys running out of questions?
Joanne asks... I have a tendency to hold grudges... how 'bout you??? "Grudge" may not be a strong enough word for what I hold. I can be spiteful... seriously spiteful!! I can refuse to speak to the hubby for days; drives him nuts and I LOVE IT! Don't mess with the queen bitch people. Just sayin!
Diane & Kelly stopped by to show some luv... be sure to stop by their blogs to do the same
Megan was a little unsure about my choice in swimsuits. I am all for whatever keeps the sand out.
Sarah says... I'm thinking Mabel just isn't a go for you! Well, what is?? I need an alter to to blame some of this craziness on... a "Flo", a "Mabel" or even a "Cybil". How about "Lucy"?
Miss Sky0138 and Lexi, my twin. I am SO glad that I can be your entertainment!
Laura???? I left you a special surprise on last weeks 5QF and you didn't stop by... what was that I was saying about holding grudges?!?
Just a little extra from Reyna. You've gotta love a girl who will shop for "ho shoes"(with her kids) for you and even video the journey. LOVE YA GIRL!!
Looking forward to next weeks 5QF... I hope I have lots of questions to keep me busy. *she throws a "subtle" hint*
If you don't know what 5QF is... where the heck have you been? Noo, I'm kidding, just go HERE to check it out.
Lets get er done!!!
1. Do you close the bathroom door when you are home alone? Holy shit!! There are doors? Is that how you keep the little people(and the nosey dog) out while you use the "facilities"?
2. You have to walk around with a word on your forehead. That word describes you. One word. What is it? This one took me a while. My first thought was spunky, but really I am much more than that.
"Multifaceted"
(Bet ya didn't know I could use big words, did ya?!?)
Definition: Versatile I am spunky, but only after you get to know me. In the beginning I am quiet, I take it all in, I "read" you. I can be the fun, crazy, spunky friend. I can be the sarcastic pain in the a$$. I can clean up and become the serious professional(No really, don't laugh). I can turn into Mama Bear and rip you a new one. I can impress your mama, but be the first one in the pool with you, fully dressed, after a few... er, lemonades ;). I can listen to all your worries and not say a word or I can give you advice and find a way to make you smile. Whatever the situation calls for... I can adapt. I am versatile. Multifaceted.
What word would YOU use to describe me? 3. What store do you refuse to shop at and why? Don't gasp, but for a long time I refused to shop at Target. It was a long story, but I stayed out of Target for almost 2 1/2 years. Eventually, a friend made me go back, but I still refused to buy anything. Eventually, I got over it; even though I will NEVER buy another movie there. EVER!!
4. If you participated in arranged marriages for your child(ren), who would you choose for your child(ren)? Tough one. I honestly don't know. I have a hard time thinking in that way because I am all about "testing out the koolaid" before hand. Meaning... find the bitterness and be sure you can deal with it before you run off with the whole glass.
Did that make sense?
5. If you could pick how and when you would die, would you? I wouldn't want to pick when. I don't think I would want to know. However, if I could go peacefully in my sleep... that would be great.
Now for the extras... Because of last weeks 5QF hiatus... there were two opportunities to ask questions. You can check them out HERE and HERE.
Denise asks "If you could change your name, would you and what would it be?"
That's an interesting question. I would consider changing my name, but I don't know what I would want. Definitely something longer... Lora is so short. No more than 8 letters though, because then engraving becomes difficult(I know because of Leighanna).
Reyna named my alter for me... you know the one who cusses on my blog. Her name is Mabel.
I found this when I Googled "Mabel clip art"
What do you think? Do I look like a Lora? If not, what name would fit me better?
Denise also asks "you really had to ponder a stop a Starbucks?!?! you totally just knocked yourself down a couple of notches in my eyes!! ;)"
It didn't take much thinking Denise. Really! But here's the thing. I had to get off the "juice"(i.e. coffee and coke) because I am on a diet. And I am actually doing good. It was actually a celebration coffee. I still have more to go, and I totally miss my White Chocolate Mocha, but I also want to fit into my pants. Decitions-Decitions!!
Alexis asks "while your pool side margarita or daiquiri? Very important. ;)"
I can float both ways... multifaceted, remember?!? But I prefer a good daiquiri. Are you planning on stocking up so I can visit?
Laura says "Oh and today Nate poooooped outside too. Betcha can't find clip art for that."
Well, I couldn't find anything animated, but I did find this...
Kinda looks like Nate?!?
And since things are a little backwards at your house, maybe you can teach the dog to help out...
By the way...
Okay, this is kinda gross!
Amy says "Um, who in their right mind wouldn't want to be slightly underweight? Is that a trick question?" I dunno! I was wondering if that was a trick question too.
And... "Just where does the sand get? Can you find a life clip art for that one?!?!?!" Amy, Amy, Amy... where DOESN'T that sand get? My eyes... yeah, my eyes... that's where it gets.
BTW: I just learned that you SHOULD NOT Google image "sand in uncomfortable places" with your son sitting next to you. OOPS!
I am not sure if I should actually post this... but since they claim its "the cure"... what the heck. (If you offend easily, you probably don't read my blog, but just in case... close your eyes).
Google has pictures for everything!
Amy also asked... "What was Sissy doing up at the butt crack of dawn to play Wii??? Is she crazy like you? Wait. Um, yes . . . she tried on those shoes ;) She wasn't up until almost 7(still early). I was just completely ready for work and sitting around until it was time to leave at that point. She jumped on the Wii before Justin had a chance to wake up and wreak havoc on the world :)
Nicole says "I can't believe in Florida they make stripper shoes for children...what is that state coming too?" What can I say... they train them young here in the states!!
Mike says... "maybe she should wait a couple of years before breaking in the stripper shoes". I totally, agree... no stripper shoes until she's at least 13.
Amy says... Hmmm... I can see the headline now: "Mother Forces Daughter to Choose Her Own Stripper Shoes at Young Age". LOL! Could she even walk in those things? She didn't try both of those on, but she probably can... sadly, she can walk in most of my shoes. Oh, those proud mama moments!!!
Happy Saturday everyone!!! Keep the questions coming.
