A year ago today...

It was a year ago today that the nightmare began... Literally. A year ago today that I would blog about what was coming; even if I didn't know it was. A year ago today... My warning. The warning I didn't understand. The warning that didn't cushion the blow of another diagnosis.


One month from tomorrow marks one year since Justin was dx'd with epilepsy.
I would like to say that all is well, but I would be telling a tall tale. I would love to say that the medication is in order and is controlling the seizures without any of the ugly side effects, but that would be a flat out lie.


This one has been hard. Its not as much the seizures, though they are heartbreaking to witness, it's the medication. Memory loss, hair loss, aggression, short temperament... Just a small taste of how this medication changes you. Makes you loose yourself. How it has changed Justin. 


I am so tired. Tired of fighting the school and the teachers. Tired of missing who Justin is. Tired of constant emails to remind people about accommodations and pissed that a teacher feels that she has the right to discuss Justin's medication changes with HIM.


I'm tired of not knowing what to do. What choice to make. What path to follow. I'm tired of being scared that I am going to screw EVERYTHING up for him. I'm tired of the feeling that I am going to fail.

For my friend, Meri...

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I am not an outwardly religious person(is that the word I'm looking for??? "Outwardly"?). I don't strike up conversation about it. I won't debate you or compare your beliefs to mine. I believe in God; though I may have questioned his "reason" more than I like to admit.

But over the last few days I have witnessed the power of prayer. FELT the power of it. All because of my dear friend, Meri, and her sweet husband, Ryan. Most people who stop by my blog already know Meri and what she is facing... but just in case, you can read the story here.

Meri,

You were there to guide me through my fog... at a time when I was at my worst. You looked for my marbles(and found them!). You had a hand in bringing my battered soul back to life. Because of you, I am stronger.

In this journey that you face with your sweet Ryan... I hope that we can be there for you. I hope that you can feel the presence of those around you; those who are praying for you both, no matter how far away they may be. And more than anything...

I pray for your miracle

 

Today, Sunday, March 4th, 2012, has been set aside as a day of prayer and fasting, all are invited to join the family in support, people of all denominations... everywhere! With this in mind, we invite you to post prayers and reflections of hope on your personal blogs and websites. There will be a thread started on the Shuhmacher Family's Miracle Face book page, where links can be shared. If you do not have a blog/website, and would like to share your prayers, please feel free to add your thoughts to this thread as well. By keeping them in one place, the family will easily be able to access your words of encouragement in the days, weeks, and months to come. Please spread the word to anyone, and invite others to join this massive prayer effort as well.

They need your help
They need your prayers

They need a miracle

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.  ~Isaiah 41:10

We all know how costly medical expenses can be. Friends of the Shuhmacher's has started a fundraiser to help offset some of the expense they will endure. No amount is too small and would be appreciated.

Medical Fundaising Made Simple