I could tell as soon as he walked in the door that he was upset. The pressure of middle school sure can get to him. Im sure the 65 that showed up on the meter didn't help how he was handling himself either.
I tell him to grab a snack out of the closet and his book bag; we need to leave for tutor. He listens with a somewhat frustrated "tone", and we walk out the door.
On the way, I take the opportunity to find out what's eating him. He says he "just couldn't think today". He couldn't think of a hook to write about in language arts. Other people had really good hooks, but he just couldn't think of one.
This means he got nothing done.
Now I know what your thinking... Really, he's upset over that?!?! Keep in mind that Justin is a perfectionist, he takes medication that slows his thinking and he's been running low today. Please cut him a little slack.
I talk to Justin about how the hook doesn't have to be perfect, I talk about how getting upset makes thinking harder. I give him almost the same talk I do every time he gets frustrated. But this time he caught me off guard... He asked me if I could get him someone to talk to. "Like a therapist".
What?
Don't get me wrong, I am all for getting help, it's even something I've talked about doing, but for my 11 year old son to ASK for it. That kind of hurts.
Justin tends to bottle things up, kinda like him momma, I hope finding him someone to talk to will give him the release he needs or the answer he's looking for.
I want to start something new. New for me anyways. Sunday night confessions will be short, some silly, some serious once a month-ish confession post to clear the mind. I don't intend for this to become a heavy post, but who knows... It will just depend on the mood.
Here we go...
-We were sitting down to watch a movie and Justin asked me to turn up the volume; not paying attention, because I was trying to get settled, I blindly hit the button a couple of times. Justin then says "mom, can you go up one more... I like the volume to be even". As in... the level cant be on 19... I need it on 20 cuz 20 is even. O_o OMGEEEE, he is way to much like his ... er... um... Dad. Yeah, like his dad... that's it. A little OCD is normal-ish, right?
-Today my flat iron broke. This is devastating to a girl with a frizzy fro, okay. I tried to go all old days and iron it with my Black and Decker, but it didn't work. I was lookin a hot mess for a trip to the mall and a birthday party.
-I watched "What to Expect when your Expecting"... it kinda sucked. I had higher hopes. The best thing about it was the cheese dip I made myself; except when I went to check Justin... the dog helped himself. Damn mutt!!
-Did I tell you about my flat iron??
-I miss having the time to read blogs... hell, I miss having the time to blog. Every time I try, I pass out, sitting straight up with the computer on my lap. No joke!
-I have no sympathy what.so.ever for people who complain about their lack of sleep. To the point when I might be occasionally kind of rude about it. Husband, friends, family... no one is exempt from my cheep attempt at the Reyna eye roll. Oh yeah, I go there.
Okay, one last one...
Since I started working at home, I no longer have that LONG drive into the office, by myself, to think. I hated that long as drive, but now I kinda miss it. I didn't overly like the mascara mess, but I think it cleared up a little of the jumbled up mess that was clogging up in there. I realized this the other day when I took a shower in the kids bathroom. It's dark in there with the black shower curtain and no one can see me. I lost it. I might have to clear my head in there from time to time... their water pressure is better than mine anyways.
Here's to a fabulous week!! What do you confess?
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1. What is one grammar issue you cannot let go without correction?
UMMM (fingers tapping and queuing Jeopardy music)...UMMM (thinking, thinking, thinking, do do do do do do do dum dum)...
I can't stand it when people...
Are you kidding me? I'm usually the one being corrected (read profile). Hell, you're probably correcting me now. Stop that!!
Let's just move along :/
2. What's your favorite thing about fall?
The clothes. The Weather. I love that I can go outside and not feel like the air has been sucked out of me. Winter is my fave though.
3. What's your favourite dish to take to a potluck?
I usually go for the deserts. I can make some mean deserts.
4. When do you start Christmas (Holiday) shopping?
I start picking up small stuff mid October when I start shopping for Leighanna's birthday. I take a break right after and then it's on for Black Friday... that's more of a game for me though. Even if I am not looking for something specific, someone I'm with usually is.
5. Did you move homes a lot growing up?
I did. Because of that I hate moving. I want my kids to have that feeling of being n the same home growing up. Weird, I know. We've been here for 14 years.
How do you make them understand? Understand that this is not "just" a disease. How do you make them understand that the very medication meant to help... comes with it's own set of challenges.
How do you make them understand that for most kids his age... the biggest responsibility they have is whether or not they had their agenda signed. But for him... his biggest responsibility is keeping himself alive.
How do you make them understand that you don't spend your day making up excuses. All that has taken place in the last few years has taken its toll mentally on us all, especially him. How do you make them understand that you need help. HE needs help.
I know having my child in your class is a headache. I know that I ask you to monitor him, redirect him, show understanding and afford him additional time. I know that he doesn't fit in the tidy little box. I also know that he IS worth the effort and I just need you not to give up on him.
