I was just calming my battered emotions following a "tiff" with Anthony. He doesn't feel I should email a teacher concerning an assignment Justin was penalized for turning in late. The day he was suppose to "write the assignment in his agenda" his BG was 48. The work was turned in the next day, yet this "penalization" dropped his grade from a 100% to a 60%. Kinda harsh, I thought.
We had been fighting lows that entire week following changes the Endo had made. No matter what we did... we couldn't get him above of the 50's; this went on for over a week. Even after breaking the 3 day rule and making daily changes. The teacher even commented about sending him to the nurse all that week.
Plus there's the weather... Justin's insulin needs change with the weather(I swear I'm not making this up). This is the downside to living in Florida... hot, cold, hot, cold, hot, cold; adjust, adjust, adjust... we cant make up our weather-lovin minds.
Anywho... we were "tiff-ing" (I might have made that word up) about it. In our 504 meeting... I mentioned Justin needing help with writing assignment in his agenda; for several reason, but Especially when D is acting up. We have this accommodation, SO WHY SHOULDN'T I EMAIL HER????
He was 48, "when he's low... his seizures increase". I've TOLD them this. Seizures mean he to looses time, doesn't hear whats being said. We have accommodations for this, SO WHY SHOULDN'T I EMAIL HER????
Anthony feels he needs to be more responsible, but is letting him fail, literally fail, going to teach him any sort of lesson? At 11 years old... should HE be responsible for going to the teachers and saying "ya know, I was a little low yesterday, I need more time." Would they even listen? Doesn't he DEAL with enough??
Wait, I'm off on a tangent; back to the beginning...
So I was just calming my battered emotions following this "tiff". My first call returning to work was an emergency room admit for an 8 year old boy(just 1 year older than Justin was at dx). Guess why he was admitted... newly diagnosed T1D. My heart dropped. My eyes then filled with tears as the thoughts of challenges this family will face ran through my mind...
Every email that will have to be sent.
Every "tiff" about what should or shouldn't be done.
Every decision about what is right and what is wrong.
Every "adjustment" made.
Every night time number that you pray will not drop to low.
Every fight for accommodations and/or safety.
Every day of sadness.
Every bit of it tore through my heart for this family as I choked on every broken word I spoke.
I know the bigger issue here was the fact that I had to defend my sending the email with someone who is suppose to support me. Someone who is suppose to support Justin. If something happens to me... is Justin left to fail? Why do I even have to worry and think about that possibility? The thought scares me.
I know Justin will have to take responsibility one day... I struggle with the "when" in that every day. Right now, however, I feel that I would be setting him up to fail. Can he handle failure emotionally? I can't honestly say I believe he can... he bottles everything up as it is.
So what do I do? SOMEBODY, PLEASE tell me.
